Hanson Collaborates!

Nifty News, News of The Nifty

Friday, December 31st
Nifty News
In order to combine the remaining momentum of both their careers, Pop band, Hanson, and Pop-Punk band, The Offspring, have decided to collaborate, well, sort of. The new effort will be a merging of both groups into an eclectic entity to be known as "Hanspring." Equine guitar player, Ike, explained that they want to start where The Middle of Nowhere left off. Understandable, considering it was their only major success. Some choice selections from the new album, called "Talk Jungie To Me", tentatively set to be released in November, include the ballad "Boundaries, people, boundaries", the somber "MMMBop, Baduba Hold Me", and the raucous "I Love Puppies!". When asked what he thought of the new sound, the most ineffectual member of the group, Zac, slurred "Ooh, ow, chooga look at me, I'm very wacky and adorable, look at my fey corn rows!" while contorting his face. Dexter Holland, the butt-ugly ugly beach bum-looking singer for the former Offspring said that he hopes to steal the thunder from fellow psycho babblers Korn with this latest project, which should prove to be the most touchy-feely album ever.
Ethically-confused, chain smoking Irish comic, Denis Leary, has continued with his recent ventures into product endorsement, adding a spot for elderly staple and Y2K commodity, Depends® to his résumé. In a commercial to be aired in March, Leary quips, "You can't hold your pee, so do something about it, okay?! <A-puff-a-puff-a-puff-a-puff-a-puff!>"
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