Good things used to come in threes!
There were the Wise Men, the Musketeers,  the Chipmunks, the Stooges... but that streak was broken when the Hanson brothers - Ike, Zac and Taylor - decided to move their singing act from the garage to malls across America! And somehow, this prepubescent pop trio has managed to keep their Clearasil-covered faces around a lot longer than their allotted fifteen minutes! But they'll come crashing down soon enough, as you'll see in a little tale we call...

The Incredible Hanson Story, from Start to Finish!

1995-1998
The boys write the words and music for "MMMBop." Hanson first performs "MMMBop" onstage. They record an early demo version of "MMMBop." They later re-record "MMMBop." for their major record label debut. "MMMBop" tops the charts! The brothers make the rounds of award shows to sing "MMMBop." They thrill fans with an acoustic rendition of "MMMBop." Along the way, Hanson also gives many interviews in which they discuss their musical versatility.

January 30, 1999
Hanson is offered four million dollars to open for Michael Jackson. The deal falls through, however, when it is later discovered the proposal has nothing to do with music.

December 1, 1999
During an MTV interview, Zac is rushed to the hospital with an impacted smirk. Doctors assure fans that he will be up and as annoying as ever within days.

January 4, 2000
Responding to skeptics who have long accused the band of having no additional material (and buying time with an easy Christmas CD and some crappy old tapes), Hanson at last releases "We're Rubber, You're Glue." CD #1 plays into the critics' hands, consisting only of three answering machine messages, a 34-minute version of "Itsy-Bitsy Spider," a track of Ike singing "Happy Birthday" to a two-year-old Taylor, and fifteen re-mixes of "MMMBop." CD #2, however, features the group's first all-new material in years, including the up-tempo "FFFBop," the sassy "NNNBop," the soulful "BBBBop," and the more experimental "&&&Bop." The album peaks at #36, the first sign of trouble in Hansonland.

February 8, 2000
After the success of the "Weird" video by acclaimed directer Gus Van Sant, the boys decide to work with other great movie makers to create videos that will revive sales of their slumping album. Swedish director Ingmar Bergman is lured out of retirement to make an impressionistic clip for the second single "MMMVp (Agony)." The video, a dizzying array of disconnected and disturbing images, ends with the unhappy Cobbler choosing to go off to oblivion with Death, rather than attend a Hanson concert. MTV plays the clip once at 4:40 a.m.

August 10, 2000
America's landfills report a 25% jump in waste product volume. Two-thirds of this increase are attributed to old Hanson pinup photos, posters, T-shirts and CDs.

March 13, 2009
Following a nasty slap-fight at a Hojo's they were performing at in Decatur, Alabama, Hanson announces they are breaking up "due to irreconcilable artistic differences, and because Ike is a big, smelly jerk-face jerk-head to infinity plus one." Zac's threats to write a blistering tell-all book fizzle when he realizes he hasn't gone to school since the age of seven.

July 7, 2012
Now solo, Taylor forms a five-man "super-group" of other washed-up '90s performers, including Jazzy Jeff, the lead singer of Silverchair, and a Blowfish or two. Unfortunately, the ill-fated "Traveling Dingleberries" tour does not turn a profit.

January 9, 2016
After years of bitterness, the increasingly hard-on-the-eyes brothers reunite for their first concert together in nearly seven years. Sadly, the show is canceled when the bowling alley gets a last-minute customer who needs the lane.

June 16, 2020
Hanson's exclusive deal with Moistland Action Water Parks falls through when park officials decide they can get five Backstreet Boys for the same $650 it costs for just three Hansons.

September 7, 2023
Hanson finally enters the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Three minutes later, they are thrown out for trespassing.