1. Double chin
  2. Dazed, bloated expression
  3. Badly parted hair
  4. Annoying
  5. Smells of sour cheese (probably)

Zachary's only distinction is his age. His sequences could be more passionately produced by a drum machine. And yet, being the youngest of all, just about all is forgiven — including his having dropped a stick at the Grammys. They could put a marmot behind the drum kit, and, overcome by its cuteness and absurdity, people would gush without a second, or first, consideration of actual talent.

Being so young — having debuted at age eleven — Zac has the added quality of bringing in an even younger audience than Taylor. Chubby, unpopular girls, as well as spoiled, socially-repellant ones, ages ten to fifteen, can all bask in the reflected glory of this moist teen demigod.

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